And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
