Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
