yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
