My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
