I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
