i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
