3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
it glows. i had to have it.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I am available for nakedness
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