fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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