I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
