What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize