Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
