Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
