He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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