There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
