I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
