She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
