forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
