I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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