would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
