Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
you had me at cake vodka
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
