dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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