so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
