you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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