He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
