Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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