So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
