You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
