she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize