if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
