after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
