i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
