Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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