Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
