Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
