meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
