We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
