what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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