my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
