"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
