its not stalking. its research.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
