She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
