Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
