it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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