found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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