...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
