well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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