I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
wow bdsm is so cute
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
