with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
