I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
