just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Fuck appropriateness.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
