quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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