My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize