Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
