Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
