flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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