i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Vodka?
Forever.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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