Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Who died my cat blue again?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
