Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize