is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
