White coat. Heels.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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