I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
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