Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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