ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
It's shark week go big or go home
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize